Hakuin once said
there were eighty-four thousand hells
that he personally knew
but there may be ten times that
and maybe even ten times more yet than even that
where words end, that's where we begin
virile and alive
unfettered by semantics and grammar
oblivious to logic
like a protestament to all that is evil and bad and strong
to seek to kill and to hurt and to destroy
that is a good thing
it is the way to know and to know you know
because nothing and nobody will ever tell you
nor will they ever listen to you
knowledge is a bloody affair
you are more alone than if you were dead
because you feel it, you feel and know you are alone
eighty-four thousand hells
is a long road to travel
but sometimes I think there really is only one
close your eyes
and don't think
don't think of Hakuin and of Basho
don't think of so-and-so
just close your eyes
and let your mind go
the first thing you see is your desire
the second thing you see is your fear
and if you can keep your eyes closed after that
you will see
you will see
forgiveness
forgiveness for not seeing, knowing and being
what lies beyond desire and fear
the self-forgiveness of a man
who can climb out of a pit
and shake the infernal flames off
eighty-four thousand times
or many times more than even that.
