Time to kick back, relax, and crack open a beer at my favorite exclusive members only Gentlemen's club
After a hard day's slug through a pile of whatever it is I pay myself to do at my own company that I own, nothing suits me better than a nice cold brewski, particularly one I can enjoy in the comfort of my own reserved table in the VIP section of my favorite exclusive members-only Gentlemen's club for men. That's right, it's time to take off the suit and put on another suit, button my shirt up to the chin, throw on some cufflinks, slip on a tie, and jump in my chauffeur-driven company car to chillax with some of my white conservative upper-class amigos at the Fluffingtonshire White Gentlemen's Club For Men And Not Women.
Aaaah, that beer's going down real smooth, even smoother when I remind myself that 99.999999999% of the human race is excluded from sitting here beside me at this mahogany table with ivory inlays extracted from slaughtered elephants in this very exclusive Gentlemen's Club for Upper Class People with Penises. I'm just going to kick my feet up on this 19th century antique ottoman and enjoy this moment for which I pay enough money in annual fees to feed and clothe thousands of opposites-of-people-like-me's in parts of the world that are outside the confines of this club for people-exactly-like-me.
The menu! Thank you, Frobisher. Let's see... I'll have the roasted baby Sumatran pygmy rhino cutlets with truffle and caviar sauce and some fried Siberian leopard liver on the side. After a hard day of making money from moving money around without producing anything of worth for the human race while shamelessly consuming enough resources to save a small town in Africa from starvation every month, I like nothing better than to eat a nice hot meal that costs almost as much as my watch. Oh and here comes some company! It's Lord Earl Viscount Duke Grovington Probington-Hyphenated-Name of Salisbury the Eighth, cousin of the King of Lichtenstein and fourth in line to the Bulgarian royal throne, don't you know! I say! I say "I say" a lot, so don't be put out when I say "I say", just let me say it, okay?
I'm finished with my dinner Frobisher I can't possibly eat another piece of this Siberian leopard liver. How about another couple of cold ones, two brews for two bros, a nice cold tall boy for the Lord Earl Viscount Duke here. Let's kick back and discuss hedge funds and bridge strategy, shall we? Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh, quite quite quite, yes-yes-yes, fa-fa-fa, what-what-what, ha ha ha ha! Splendid!
Uh-oh, gotta go now. I have a busy day ahead making profits from short-selling stock of companies I'm betting will fail so I can make a nifty killing which I can then spend on a Ferrari. Another day, another tons of dollars! I'm so happy to belong to a group of peers who have been brought up to believe deep down that they are better than everybody else in the world. I need my daily zees so I can sleep the sleep of sociopaths before heading back out into a society that values psychotic callousness and indifference to the misery of fellow humans.
Looking forward to chillaxing with another cerveza tomorrow, bra!
