Mabel Micklethwaite - As the song says: History is never repetitive!

Hello my little snuggle buns! This month I would like to talk about Turkish history! Dear me, it’s all around us! But how much do we yakbancis (‘foreigner’ in Arabic!) really know about it? Well here’s a crash course! First there was King Midas and the Hitittes who came from Summeria and beat the Trojans under Agamemnun to form an empire with Egygpt’s Tutanhkamun (coincidence?) until the Romans came (they were everywhere!) and Cleopatra and Anthony died on a Turkish beach! But then the Saljooks came from Tajikmanistan and after defeating the Mongolians under Tamburlaine they created the Otomman empire that conquered Istanbul and Vienna from the Bizantines and made it Constantanople under the last great president Attaturk, who defeated Jacob Stalin and established the modern Islamic secular Turkish peoples republic in NATO! Then everybody had to wear hats! They also had a harem! My husband Phil and I went to see the harem in Topkappi but it was closed, and then when it opened there was a guided tour, which we were late for, so we made it to the next one but found out we had to get a separate ticket, and they told us that it was the last tour of the day, so we bought a ticket anyway to go the next day, but then the next day they told us that the ticket from the day before was invalid, and we missed that tour as well, so instead we went to Dolgmabche palace, but we were late there too and had to buy about four different tickets and the harem was closed for lunch, then it re-opened, but it was basically just a big carpeted living room with chandeliers! Goodness me, I don’t want to confuse you with too much history all at once, so toodle-oo till next month my little paddle pops!

Mabel Micklethwaite - Try Iskander Kabab the authentic way!

Hello my little pumpkin pips! Although Middle Eastern food generally doesn’t agree with me and hubby Phil, we finally found ourselves a dish that does! Iksendar Kabob! Phil and I decided to go native one night and have an authentic local eating experience at an Iskkandor ‘restoran’! Now when we got there we made sure that we had the 100% real deal, so no sitting at tables and using forks and knives! We demanded they clear a space for us, bring some cushions and put the food on the floor so that we could take our shoes off and eat like true Arab shaiykhes! You would think we asked them to dissect a camel! It seemed they didn’t even understand what we wanted! The problem of course is that Turkey has become so westernized that even Turks no longer eat the traditional way; they now sit at tables and eat with cutlery instead, just like in the First World! Well we were in Turkey and wanted to do things the real Beduin way! So we insisted! Phil and I grabbed either end of the table, moved it aside, took our shoes and socks off, sat cross-legged on the carpet, and proceeded to grab hot fat handfuls of saucy buttery meat and pita and yoghurt in our right hands (the left is not used!), squishing them into nice big Ikssandeer balls, and munched away! Goodness me, did we have fun! The locals around us watched with fascination, some even peering through windows, obviously impressed that we could mix in so well and adopt local customs with such ease! As a show of satisfaction we topped it all off with much belching and loud squeaky passing of wind – the highest compliment in Asian countries! Ta-ta for now!