If you have something to say, just run it by your local Turkish Republic First Criminal Court of Peace first, and if they’re cool with it, then say it!
Freedom of CENSORED is one of our fundamental human rights, along with the right to CENSORED, CENSORED and of course CENSORED. Guaranteeing and upholding these rights is today universally considered the duty of any civilized modern polity, let alone one that is seeking full membership of the prestigious political playpen that is the European Union. After all, if we were to deny one another the freedom to CENSORED, what would we have left? How would anything change for the better? How could we develop and debate new ideas with which to overcome our shortcomings and progress on to bigger and better things? We couldn’t, not without this fundamental freedom, this birthright, this natural faculty that enables each and every one of us to CENSORED as we please.
Thankfully we live in a country in which we can CENSORED what we like within strict parameters set by the constitution. If we so desired, we could start a blog on CENSORED or CENSORED, two of the biggest and most popular websites in the world for bloggers, as long as what we wrote complied fully with the limits set by our national Internet Security Law. On these sites we could CENSORED anything that the Telecommunications Directorate allowed us to. Furthermore, if we were so inclined, we could make a TV or radio program and broadcast whatever the Radio and Television Supreme Council deemed fit for air. If we wanted we could even publish our ideas in book format, as long as they don’t run counter to the national penal code. In short, the sky is the limit, as long as we don’t wander too far above the troposphere and keep away from the stratosphere altogether. It’s so liberating to be able to CENSORED like this!
We are of course not the only country with such all encompassing freedom of CENSORED. We are part of an elite league that includes such distinguished company as Syria, Iran, Saudi Arabia, China, Sudan, Zimbabwe and North Korea. Citizens of all of these countries also enjoy the freedom to CENSORED what they please, as long as they take into account the possibility of imprisonment, and the slight risk of decapitation. But other than that, in these countries too, some of the sky is the limit! And we too, just like them, can CENSORED whatever state-sanctioned thing we please as long as we don’t publicly denigrate Turkishness, the Republic, the Grand National Assembly of Turkey, the Government of the Republic of Turkey, the judicial institutions of the State, the military or security organizations, all of which are punishable by imprisonment of between six months and two years, as set out in Article 301 of the Turkish Penal Code. So what are you waiting for, CENSORED freely!
The right to CENSORED your mind and be able to form and express your very own opinions comes with its own rewards. You too could be heckled and spat at by flag-waving nationalists on your way into the palace of justice in Kadıköy just like Elif Şafak; or face imprisonment and exile like Yaşar Kemal, Yılmaz Güney or Nazım Hikmet; or even have to effectively flee your country in the face of death threats, like Orhan Pamuk. And that’s if you even get to keep your life at all! But that’s not it. If I may CENSORED frankly, there’s also the satisfaction of knowing that you are participating in the open and free exchange of ideas, all of which is guaranteed in a country that is ranked 103rd in the world press freedom rankings, making it the proud holder of a ‘Partially Free’ designation. That’s semi-good! Not as good as, for example, the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, which is ranked 51st, but half-way there.
But freedom of CENSORED isn’t the only domain in which our country excels in terms of providing a free, open and enlightened society for its flock of citizens in need of direction. Let’s not forget the freedom to ban alcohol in all municipal restaurants and social facilities with a further proposal to remove all alcohol-serving establishments to ‘Red Zones’ on the outskirts of urban areas; the freedom to teach creationism as a viable alternative to evolution in public schools; the freedom to impose compulsory religion classes on all students; the freedom to protect ‘family and national values’ by banning more than 1,100 websites and thousands of books, without any explanation given… All of these fundamental freedoms aren’t just left to theory but applied on a thorough, day-to-day basis. After all, actions CENSORED louder than words!
But let’s not CENSORED too soon because there are factors that threaten the totality of these fine state-imposed freedoms that protect our national moral virtue. For example, our freedom to impose restrictions on those who might unashamedly try to take an evil stance that runs counter to official state doctrine – a freedom granted by Article 301 – could be in danger of running counter to none other than Article 301 itself. After all, what could denigrate and humiliate Turkey more in the eyes of the civilized world than a law that states that denigrating Turkishness is against the law? That means that Article 301 is in danger of canceling itself out. And that in turn means anarchy, chaos, panic, and the end of our freedom to restrict freedoms that the almighty state is free to deem harmful to our freedom. That means something has to be done to guarantee that none of this gets out, which means we should cease to CENSORED of it altogether, and that of course means access to this sentence is banned by the Telecommunications Directorate according to the order of Ankara First Criminal Court of Peace, 05.05.2008 of 2008/402.
Hey, the system works!
