It's about time you showed me a little interest and took some time out of your day to read what I have to say about something or other
Time is limited. With the amount of material there is out there to read, not to mention all the films and TV series there are to watch, all the computer games there are to be played, along with all the work we have to do in between, it's no wonder very few of us have time to read what I write. So that's why I thought I'd take this opportunity to convince you to do so. In fact, why not start with this?
Hear me out here. If you've come this far, you're already on the right track. So why not continue? Do you like what you've read so far? You probably at least don't hate it, because you're still reading. So just trust your instincts and keep in mind what I have to offer. First off, the technical stuff is all there: punctuation, grammar, spelling... check, check, and check (notice my perfect use of serial commas). Next off, I offer content. In this case, I offer excellent motivational content on why you should be reading this. Also, I offer self-betterment, because there is no better way to be informed about why you should read me than by actually reading me. So all three or four or however many of those points there were, are all there, in favor of me. Why not keep giving me a go?
Still here? Good! You've already made it nearly halfway through my article. That's already a huge effort on your part, because you could've instead spent the last few minutes reading Twitter or Candace Bushnell or The Huffington Post or Shakespeare. But instead you picked me. And just think of what that means. First off, the fact that you're reading me is very good for how I feel about myself. Being read is a great motivational boost, and that will mean that I will be even keener to write more stuff, knowing that you and others like you are reading. So the more you read, the more I write, and the more you read what I write the more I write because you read what I write and the... Secondly, you reading what I write is a great way to find out about the qualities that make me interesting enough for you to read, because there's no better place to find my readable qualities than in what I write, and so the writing speaks for itself -- myself -- in a way... actually in both ways. Thirdly... never mind, let's stop at two. Two reasons seem sufficient to me there and it was getting a little confusing anyway.
Notice how I divide my writing up into paragraphs? That makes the article a little more digestible and a little less like just one big block of text. Notice how the paragraphs are more or less divided up into equal numbers of lines: paragraph one is five lines, paragraph two is 10 lines, paragraph three is 15 lines. Ok, that's not equal sized paragraphs but that is steady growth by five lines with each paragraph... But that would mean this paragraph should be 20 lines. I have to be honest, I'm intending to end this paragraph here because I don't know what more to say about paragraphs. This paragraph was seven lines. The pattern is screwed now, I guess. Maybe I shouldn't have written this or you shouldn't have read it. But if I told you not to read it, this whole article I've been writing would be pointless, so let's not let that happen. So read it, but just sort of gloss over this paragraph, if you like. (amendment: this paragraph ended up being 12 lines, but it's still not good if you're looking for a pattern)
To conclude, there is a lot to read, and I really want you to read me, and others to read me too. I write, so you can't say "You have nothing for me to read". So you can't use that excuse. There's this and other articles like this too. Secondly... assuming the thing I said just before this sentence was "Firstly"... secondly, I'm very interested in being read because it gives me recognition, which makes me feel better about myself, releasing endorphins that make me feel happy, and that's important. Also important is feeling self-important, and nothing says self-important more than a blogger looking to get read by as many people as possible. Thirdly... never mind, the third point can wait, just those two points should do. Fourthly... well, thirdly, actually, because I just thought of a third point now on the fourth point... thirdly, you should tell others to read me and exaggerate how amazing I am.
You've made it to the end! Congratulations to both you and me on you having read me and me having been read!
Time is limited. With the amount of material there is out there to read, not to mention all the films and TV series there are to watch, all the computer games there are to be played, along with all the work we have to do in between, it's no wonder very few of us have time to read what I write. So that's why I thought I'd take this opportunity to convince you to do so. In fact, why not start with this?
Hear me out here. If you've come this far, you're already on the right track. So why not continue? Do you like what you've read so far? You probably at least don't hate it, because you're still reading. So just trust your instincts and keep in mind what I have to offer. First off, the technical stuff is all there: punctuation, grammar, spelling... check, check, and check (notice my perfect use of serial commas). Next off, I offer content. In this case, I offer excellent motivational content on why you should be reading this. Also, I offer self-betterment, because there is no better way to be informed about why you should read me than by actually reading me. So all three or four or however many of those points there were, are all there, in favor of me. Why not keep giving me a go?
Still here? Good! You've already made it nearly halfway through my article. That's already a huge effort on your part, because you could've instead spent the last few minutes reading Twitter or Candace Bushnell or The Huffington Post or Shakespeare. But instead you picked me. And just think of what that means. First off, the fact that you're reading me is very good for how I feel about myself. Being read is a great motivational boost, and that will mean that I will be even keener to write more stuff, knowing that you and others like you are reading. So the more you read, the more I write, and the more you read what I write the more I write because you read what I write and the... Secondly, you reading what I write is a great way to find out about the qualities that make me interesting enough for you to read, because there's no better place to find my readable qualities than in what I write, and so the writing speaks for itself -- myself -- in a way... actually in both ways. Thirdly... never mind, let's stop at two. Two reasons seem sufficient to me there and it was getting a little confusing anyway.
Notice how I divide my writing up into paragraphs? That makes the article a little more digestible and a little less like just one big block of text. Notice how the paragraphs are more or less divided up into equal numbers of lines: paragraph one is five lines, paragraph two is 10 lines, paragraph three is 15 lines. Ok, that's not equal sized paragraphs but that is steady growth by five lines with each paragraph... But that would mean this paragraph should be 20 lines. I have to be honest, I'm intending to end this paragraph here because I don't know what more to say about paragraphs. This paragraph was seven lines. The pattern is screwed now, I guess. Maybe I shouldn't have written this or you shouldn't have read it. But if I told you not to read it, this whole article I've been writing would be pointless, so let's not let that happen. So read it, but just sort of gloss over this paragraph, if you like. (amendment: this paragraph ended up being 12 lines, but it's still not good if you're looking for a pattern)
To conclude, there is a lot to read, and I really want you to read me, and others to read me too. I write, so you can't say "You have nothing for me to read". So you can't use that excuse. There's this and other articles like this too. Secondly... assuming the thing I said just before this sentence was "Firstly"... secondly, I'm very interested in being read because it gives me recognition, which makes me feel better about myself, releasing endorphins that make me feel happy, and that's important. Also important is feeling self-important, and nothing says self-important more than a blogger looking to get read by as many people as possible. Thirdly... never mind, the third point can wait, just those two points should do. Fourthly... well, thirdly, actually, because I just thought of a third point now on the fourth point... thirdly, you should tell others to read me and exaggerate how amazing I am.
You've made it to the end! Congratulations to both you and me on you having read me and me having been read!
