Aphorisms II

On Flattery

True flattery does not come in the form of words; it comes in the guise of a furtive glance.

We flatter others to bring down their defenses so as to make them more vulnerable to our advances, but we accept flattery from others because we believe our own defenses impregnable and ourselves invulnerable to such advances. We’re incapable of believing that anyone could ever say something good about us that wasn’t true.

Flattery is cheating. It’s an attempt to gain someone’s affection without having to earn it. But flattery can work only if you go about it with shameless sincerity.

We like to flatter ourselves as being individuals and somehow unique, yet seek to aggregate and categorize everyone else. As for those we respect as individuals, we like to think we’re flattering them by aggregating them with ourselves.

When we envy someone their talents, we either flatter them to their faces in the hope of receiving kind words in return, or we put them down behind their backs in the hope of being justified in our malevolence. Usually both.

Flattery given is an investment for flattery returned.

To be grateful for flattery betrays vain pretension, but to seem indifferent to it is noble, albeit insincere.

We are all hypocrites when it comes to flattery, hating the flatterer, loving the flattery.

The only flattery worth taking seriously is that which has been given by somebody you respect. The rest is still always good to hear, but ultimately worthless.

We think those who put themselves down in jest are the opposite of self-flatterers, when in fact they are merely a shrewder version of them.

Envy is the true source of flattery.

On Vanity

They say others can know us better than we know ourselves, but this is not entirely true; others can only see that which our vanity guards us from seeing in ourselves.

It’s not people's vanity that most offends us, but their inability to disguise their vanity.

Having hurt or lost our pride we must at least maintain our ego, even if it can only be through the dissimulation of a lie. No lie is too great – or too wicked – for this purpose.

The selfless act is the surest way to earn esteem and recognition for yourself. Selflessness is basically just selfishness committed for the eyes of others.

It’s not love that makes the world go round, but self-love.

Narcissism and laziness are the two fundamental human drives; narcissism drives our social selves to action, while laziness guides our private selves to comfort.

If it weren’t for envy and vanity, very little would be accomplished in the world.

Silence is a good disguise for vanity, but modesty is the perfect disguise.

Beauty or intelligence that is conscious of itself is a form of vanity we can all tolerate, because it seems justified.

Vanity is the fuel of society. If it weren’t for vanity, all social relations would be unbearable.

On Beauty

Beauty is most deserving of our admiration when it’s least conscious of itself.

We often associate beauty with virtue. This is one of our favorite errors, and one of beauty's greatest advantages.

Beauty is the best hiding place for mischief. It’s virtually synonymous with impunity.

Vanity and pride are the dual weak points in every person's defenses that can be breached by beauty's advances.

Charm and beauty reign supreme in the realm of personality, just as narcissism and laziness do in the realm of character.

It’s easy to forgive beautiful people their faults, seeing as we’re always happy to be around them. We always seem to value aesthetics over and above morality.

Symmetry and proportion is how we perceive beauty, flattery is how we manipulate beauty, vanity is how we desire beauty, and pride is how we curse beauty while at the same time succumbing to it.

In social relations, beauty and charm convey more intelligence than even intelligence itself can convey.

Beauty without scruples is a dangerous combination, and one which women have mastered down to an art form. Beauty with too many scruples is a handicap, and a sheer waste of beauty’s savage and indecent potential.

Is it any wonder that goodness and beauty are always depicted hand-in-hand, as are evil and ugliness? But there is one important exception: power. Regardless of whether it is depicted and represented as good or evil, power always has a handsome beauty to it, whereas weakness, whether depicted and represented as good or evil, always has a certain comical ugliness to it.

We all seek to be the object of beauty’s desire. This is because once your own image has been reflected in the eyes of beauty, you feel you have become beautiful yourself.

It if weren’t for ugliness, we’d never know where the right genes are to be found; if it weren’t for beauty, we’d never know where the wrong genes are to be avoided.